weddings

everywhere i turn, there seems to be friends getting married. old friends from canada, old friends from england, recent friends from doulos and more recent friends from england (errr, scotland too) once again. i'm very happy for them...and continue wonder if my own matrimonial ambivalence is healthy or unambitious, a sign of contentment or of laziness or selfishness. i normally don't ruminate so much on the issue, but this recent spate of weddings and engagements has prompted me to consider many things.

i also seem to be a rather difficult case. due to Operation World, i am rather slavishly (albeit willingly and only for the time being) pinned to the location of London, the time demands of my work/ministry and the financial constraints (if you can rightly label them in a theological sense constraints) of being a "faith Kingdom worker". not to mention what some have decided on my behalf are impossibly high standards. not only does this rather dramatically narrow down the number of eligible females, but it also quite comprehensively disqualifies me from eligibility according to many otherwise quite desireable single women!

i'm also quite conflicted about the right approach to the issue of male-female relationships. is it best to sit back and let God do the work, asking for His provision as we would for our daily bread or our financial support or the faith to continue in our walk? or should we be proactive, planning our campaign and counting the cost, not just asking, but seeking and knocking as well?

i dunno. i'm not sure anyone else really does, either.