funeral for a friend

i went to my first funeral in years today. it was of the father of a friend and former colleage, a man who was a stalwart at our church, a great supporter of Frontiers, WEC and Betel and a tireless advocate for ministry to the Muslim world. the whole affair made me think about a few things...

first of all, the difference between the approach to a funeral of a believer and an unbeliever. for unbelievers i guess it is really a time of bereavement and loss. grieving. uncertainty. for a believer like my friend's dad, it is like a graduation ceremony and celebration that they have finally arrived home, to the place that is eternally prepared for them. any loss and grieving is purely for ourselves because we miss the person. but that person is happier, healthier and more complete than they ever were on this earth.

second, it's an incredible opportunity for witness. the confidence, peace, hope and grace with which he met his end were a real testimony to all, and the peace of the believing family and friends must have seemed strange and possibly even compelling. Les asked that no one wear black at his funeral/memorial service as mourning was not appropriate! the pastor pulled no punches in making clear that we were celebrating his life, not mourning his death, and i can imagine that many who were there and not believers must have begun to ask questions about their own life and what happens when it ends.

finally, legacy. there were many wonderful things said about this man, and he clearly left behind a family, friends, colleagues and a church who knew and loved him. he had run the race and finished well. it reminds me of how Nobel (he of the peace prize) read his own obituary, when the paper accidentally mistook his brother's death for his own. the indictment and condemnation of this industialist who invented, or rather aggressively marketed dynamite as an instrument of war and violence caused him to reconsider his life and he poured the rest of it into good things, such as the legacy of the trust fund for the Nobel prizes for Peace, Literature, Science, etc.

i also read recently of a funeral where the pastor began the eulogy by talking about the deceased using the wrong name and cataloging all the terrible things he had done. the congregation were shocked, to say the least, but then the pastor explained that the departed had actually been part of a witness relocation programme and had found Christ later in life. he then proclaimed that while the government can give you a new name and address, only God can give a new life and identity.

although sad to say farewell to a man who 7 months ago was in fine health, i am glad to have known him and glad i went today, to be reminded of the things that really matter.